Void Thoughts

A girl is a girl. Not a superhuman. Not a goddess. Not a blessing or a curse. She is a human being.
A boy is a boy. Not a superhuman. Not a god. Not a blessing or a curse. He is a human being.

Your gender is not who you are. Your gender doesn’t guarantee happiness, strength, fortune, or doom.
It’s you—your behavior, your strength, your courage, your skills, your will, your ambitions, your goals, your dreams. None of this has anything to do with your gender. You are neither a god nor a demon. You are a human being.

This is what I wanted to say during a conversation I was part of last weekend.
These women were speaking so highly of a 13-year-old girl, praising Indian culture for treating girls as goddesses. They were mercilessly glorifying how women multitask, do it all, and never complain. Apparently, women never take a break, even when they are tired.

I held my tongue, though I wanted to say: “Please, take a break when you’re tired. Ask for help instead of multitasking. Delegate, and let your family members be a part of your life instead of trying to do it all as if you’re a goddess with ten hands.” Because you are not a goddess. A woman is simply a woman, not a superhuman.

Please stop promoting the idea that women are godlike. A woman is not, and does not have to be, an embodiment of endurance.

I was astonished that educated women were promoting such ancient patriarchal expectations in 2024 while living in the US. My blood was boiling. But at that moment, I became the epitome of endurance, holding back from lashing out at the flood of thoughts in my mind.

I didn’t respond to these atrocious remarks because I was a guest in someone else’s home, and engaging in a controversial discussion that strikes at the very foundation of these people’s belief systems would not have led to a productive conversation at that moment. I choose to keep quiet when I am agitated. And I was agitated to the core.

The unfortunate consequence of glorifying women for their multitasking and endurance was that they simultaneously belittled men for their supposed inability to get anything done. They gave men an easy pass.

How ridiculous is that?

I don’t agree that women are superhumans who must endure everything without flinching. I definitely don’t believe men are helpless idiots who can only boss women around and accomplish nothing but their livelihood. I hope others see, like I do, that men and women are simply human beings who need to coexist by supporting each other.

There is nothing in store for you for having endured it all without a word, other than the inevitable feeling of defeat. You should stop pretending like it’s your duty to do everything single-handedly. More importantly, you should stop propagating this idea and imposing it on the younger generation. Let them think for themselves. Let them ask questions. If their questions threaten what you believe to be your culture and its core meaning, then it’s high time you reflect on the integrity of what you are showcasing as your culture.

Could we please stop praising women for being doormats? Could we stop demonizing men behind their backs while continuing to enable them to take women for granted?

Could we start seeing each other for who we truly are? Could we at least try?

© Vinitha Dileep