As she occupied the window seat on the metro her mind was occupied with all sorts of thoughts. Once again the unspeakable events transpired in her mind.
Who would have predicted that in less than 24 hours her life would take such a harsh turn.
She kept thinking whatever was life for me till yesterday is strange and painful now. Why did I never anticipate such a reality would strike me ever, take everything away from me.
She learned to live with the terror of getting raped. In the last few hours she had relived the same taunting experience a hundred times in her mind. But what hurt her more was her fiancee’s reaction to the whole incident.
Did I ever thought that I am falling in love with such a selfish man?
Memories took her to the day they met. It was in the coffee shop. He seemed to be nice when he talked to the kid who came begging. And then she noticed that he is looking at her now. They introduced themselves to each other, became friends and the rest is history.
When he proposed there was nothing for her to think other than saying yes. They both knew each other’s likes and dislikes, good and bad habits, they were perfect friends meant to be perfect couple. Everyone else thought so too.
What a betrayal my judgement did!
Until 24 hours ago she had the same impression about him. She took pride in thinking that she is going to be the wife of a wonderful man.. Lies!!
Rape has physically abused her, mentally scarred her, traumatized her but little did she think that she was yet to receive the most agonizing insult of her life.
When he cried she thought he was crying because of whatever happened to her, because her pain is felt by him, because he was helpless when she was tortured.
He was right there when the goon was raping her. They were at the bank when thieves came to rob the bank. They had all the people at gun point in less than 10 seconds. While the robbery was in progress one of them decided to have some fun and chose her as the target.
She knew that its not his mistake or there is any thing he could have done to prevent it from happening.
When everything was over she saw the broken shell of a man he has become and that tortured her even more. She walked up to him and gave him a hug. She whispered its alright I have you as my strength and you have me. He didn’t hug her back neither tried to wipe tears off her face nor uttered any consoling words.
And then he shouted you are not mine any more.
I cannot marry you now.
It felt like a hot sharp rod going through her heart and still not taking the breath away.
She realized the torture has only begun now.
Speechless, shocked, she stood there staring at him. She felt odd that no tears accompanied her feelings then.
And she left. She hasn’t seen him or talked to him since.
Going for a vacation to pull herself together was her friend’s idea.
When they were walking towards the check in counter at the airport her friend nudged her and she saw him standing right in front of her.
He said I am sorry dear. I was upset. I felt it was my fault you got hurt. I didn’t mean to say all those. It was the pain which made me talk that way. I want you now more than ever. I love you sweet heart. I cannot imagine a life without you, ever. Please forgive me and lets get on with the marriage plans. We have an appointment with florist today evening, remember!
She started to walk away from him then stopped and turned to him and said, At least that rape showed me your true color. It was epic to see how your love wavered when that was all I needed to stay strong. When I cannot consider you as a friend anymore how can I find a husband in you? I am glad to accept that you are a mistake I made.
When she boarded the flight she had already made up her mind to nurse all the wounds and savor the future.
Void Thoughts 