I tried. All day yesterday, whenever I could sit in front of my laptop, I tried to write. I wrote, too — a couple of stories? prose poems? — I don’t know what to call them.
I had a few stunning ideas looming in my head, and I jotted them down. It can’t exactly be called a draft, considering how staggered they looked on the paper. Just as disorganized as they were in my head.
I couldn’t make them reader appropriate. The messy writings that make my books messier — at least, they were not still inside my head wreaking havoc.
Then came another idea to my rescue. Alas! I couldn’t even get it on paper. That’s fine, I repeated to myself. Is there any saving grace here?
Sometimes, not having one is the point. Living through such days is fine, too, you know. In fact, it’s more than fine. Often I need such days. It’s not the end. Tomorrow is another day.
And tomorrow, here I am, giving it another try.
Many years ago, before I started blogging, when I used to scribble down my thoughts and kept it hidden, what stopped me from sharing those thoughts with others, was my fear. I feared, what if I couldn’t write more? What if this was just a fluke, a passerby idea that quite unintentionally landed on my head on the way to elsewhere and I grabbed it accidentally? What if I run out of ideas to write?
Valid questions, right?
Eventually, I gave in and let fear be just fear. I do face the dilemma of not having anything to write even today. But it so happens I find things to write about, too.
Finding stories to write about, well, that’s a good job description.
And this is me still trying.
Check out my YouTube Channel here.
Void Thoughts 
I can totally relate as I feel like more and more of my days are turning into this. I have so many drafts with random thoughts and half baked poetry. I don’t hit publish thinking I would refine them someday. And that day never comes. The struggle is real. I am glad you are able to pen down your thoughts. Also pretty sure many would relate to it.
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I loved how you wrote about your inability to write on some days and your self-doubt creeping into your mind, bringing fear with it. But the fact that you could come up with this interesting post and pen your thoughts so creatively says a lot about your control over your fear, Vinitha. Kudos!!
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The ultimate writer’s revenge, this is, Vini. To turn the fact that you think you’re all out of ideas and turn that into a piece of writing that we can all resonate with, is brilliant! ♥
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For quite some time I just could not write. I felt the same fear you had. And I realised that earlier when I used to just write for myself, the words flowed and there was a joyousness to it. When I wrote what I though others wanted to read, I hit a huge block. Now I am back to writing for myself , even if it doesn’t make a bit of sense and it helps.
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That’s such a lovely way to talk about writing. The #mundanemondays really sum up most Mondays for writing.
I too will keep writing even when I feel I have nothing to say.
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Even with having no ideas, you still managed to write and publish a post, again this week, so it’s definitely very commendable. Give yourself a pat on the back, Vinitha!
You know what—it’s the push you’re giving yourself, that’s serving you well. There is always so much to write about, I keep reminding myself all the time. But. I guess, it’s the rigour of writing daily that makes all the difference.
Keep at it, Vinitha. Let your creative faucet flow, full on! :))
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I like your job description – Finding stories to write about. Who would have thought like this!
This is the whole purpose of mundane Monday – to write even when you feel it is hard to find anything to write about. And therefore you have done a splendid job here. Another week begins giving rise to another opportunity to come up with a new story or a poem. We are a bunch of optimistic women 🙂
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