It’s been a while since I’ve let my thoughts wander freely on the page. Somewhere along the way, I began to avoid writing—not intentionally, but gradually, like slipping into silence without realizing it. Today, I’m giving myself permission to return. No pressure. Just presence.
I am not sure what to write. It’s been a long time since I’ve done a free write—and a digital free write at that. Writing has become that road I longingly peek at but avoid, for imagined reasons. Why? I don’t know.
Is it because I force myself to capture my thoughts in my journal instead of Google Docs? My thoughts aren’t restrained by the medium I choose to express them, are they? I don’t think so. I used to write my morning pages in Google Docs, uninhibitedly. Longhand writing has a clarity and flow, but typing is freeing, too. Sometimes prejudices sneak in and build their nests in my mind without my knowledge.
I’m not saying that I deliberately avoided typing and favored writing in my notebook. But that’s what I did, without even realizing it. No wonder I didn’t work on my half-done novel and other topics I wanted to write about. It’s a ridiculously enormous task to write a whole book in a notebook.
Sometimes in life, we end up making such absurd mistakes and choices accidentally, don’t we? My theory is that when in doubt, go back to the basics. And by basics, I mean what once worked for you.
For me, this means acknowledging the strange avoidance I’ve been feeling when it comes to making space for writing altogether.
All the ideas that pop into my mind are shelved for when I dare to walk that path. All the ideas that once inspired me to fill page after page are now cleverly ignored for reasons unknown.
It’s as though the very source of my creative spark is being muted—not by lack of ideas, but by an avoidance I can’t quite explain.
It’s not wise. It’s not healthy. This avoidance of words has become a habit of mine, and I am finding it overwhelming. My mind is on overdrive, brimming with everything I want to write about, and yet I’m conveniently ignoring the pull. It’s distancing me from a life filled with passion for writing and pushing me toward one weighed down by regrets of not writing.
Writing is a part of me. Ignoring that part is like ignoring my hands, my legs, or my heart—denying them their function. It will only lead to disaster.
So here I am, writing to enjoy writing. Writing to find the joy in writing.
By that, I don’t just mean sitting in silence and typing out words as thoughts pull up in the driveway of my mind. I’m making space to write my thoughts out with love, loving the process of writing while quietly enjoying the silence surrounding me.
I’m noticing the clatter in my mind gently forming into order—an order only writing can provide. The noise inside me is slowly subsiding as it learns it’s not being dismissed as just noise. It speaks volumes. It is here. It is not ignored. It is saved for future reading.
So here I am, writing again, without pressuring myself to produce a masterpiece.
And I must say—it feels good.
Sometimes, all we need is a quiet nudge to remember what brings us joy. If you’ve been avoiding something that once lit you up inside, maybe this is your sign to take a small step back toward it.
Have you ever distanced yourself from something you love? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments.
This piece is written in response to the two hundredth and forty-eighth edition of Fiction Monday inspired by the word prompt – BRIM hosted by yours truly. Do join in if you have a tale to tell.
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Void Thoughts 
I don’t like to write anything in Google Docs. And honestely, I do not write
outside my games, even I’d wish. I like to make craft.
I love to do too many things, so it’s difficult to distance from some of them.
Only in holidays…😃 From my perspective, I do not think what to do, I just do.
I feel I save time!
Have a fine weekend, Vinitha!😘💗
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I think those who love writing never really stop or forget writing…it is just that life gets in the way and makes us think we have gone too far away from that ability to pour our thoughts into some forms—any form—life has taught me this. Every time we stop writing, we feel a gnawing sense of emptiness, and while it is true that it takes time to get into the flow, after a break, it is equally true that there is a gushing river waiting to come out of our inner recesses, and usually, it does.
Such a lovely post, Vinitha! I remembered my own struggles reading this post of yours…One should never distance oneself from things they love…I don’t believe that ever does anyone any good. These are the blessings from the Universe, right…all we need to do is let them flow through us nd fill our lives with delight.
Keep writing, Vinitha! Keep sharing and let the thoughts flow, unhinged, uninterrrupted…we are all in this journey together…
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This is just what had happened with me, Vinitha. Earlier, my yoga studies kept me busy, and then the unwillingness to write on my blog, or for that matter, write anything at all. I don’t know why I was feeling like that, but I was finding more satisfaction and happiness in drawing and wasn’t feeling motivated to even bring out the laptop. Last month, when my student gifted me a diary, I decided to make good use of it. So, I started writing a page or two almost every day. It made me less guilty that I wasn’t “writing” anything for my blog. I reasoned that at least I was writing something!
Then day before yesterday, I read an article in the newspaper and it was like a switch flicked in my head and I thought to myself, this is it. I am going to write, on my blog, not just in the diary. And that day, I typed 300 or so words in 20 mins or so and published it without editing. It felt so good that the next day, I wrote and published another post. It felt so good!
We just need to give ourselves a nudge, or a gentle push to get back to whatever gave us happiness , or as you said, something that lit us up from inside.
Loved reading your post. It was so beautifully expressed! ❤
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I hear you. Sometimes we sabotage ourselves without realizing it! While I do Morning Pages, journaling and some drafts by hand, the rest is typed. I hope you figure out the right balance for you, Vini. And I look forward to reading your novel sometime in the near future! ♥
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I express my thoughts in the form of stories when I want to share them- with myself and with those whom I value and connect with. I know exactly what you mean when you said ‘enjoying the silence surrounding…’ I did distance myself from writing and it was Corinne first who gave me that nudge to start writing again. Your Fiction Monday is also a ‘quiet nudge’ to me Vinitha 🙂
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I prefer journaling with pen and paper. It was a refreshing read V.
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Wonderful ♥️
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