Some days are like today. I feel empty—
like there is nothing I can do,
like there is nothing I can excel at.
Emptiness, a rapidly attacking virus, chews me up from the inside, and I’m disappearing. Slowly. Steadily.
Today started as one of those days. It’s so difficult to convince myself otherwise when the morning rays of the sun fail to cheer me up.
Then I see kindness peeking in. Sometimes, kindness appears as a gentle smile or a wave from a stranger. Often, though, kindness is when I decide to give myself a little grace—when I decide that emptiness doesn’t necessarily mean that I’m undeserving.
Perhaps it means making space for all things new and exciting. Or it could be a nudge to rediscover myself, or simply relax and relish the moment.
Kindness shown to yourself when you’re at your lowest point matters the most, doesn’t it?
Void Thoughts 
I get that feeling too…a little lost, empty or despondent, when nothing feels or sounds right! You’re so right about being kind to ourselves on those days…in fact, it always helps. A cup of tea while sitting in the garden, a leisurely walk in the sun…listening to a favourite song…even a nap…all of these work for me…and suddenly, the mood lightens up and the weight is gone! Some days, definitely!
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On those days, it helps to have that external nudge from others, doesn’t it? If we were always kind to ourselves, we’d hardly need it.
I’m not religious, but I used to wonder why “laziness” was a sin. It’s not. Laziness may be a by-product of the sin of “sloth,” but “sloth” is not laziness itself nor is the original word, “acedia.” Wikipedia has a great page on it – and I think this “emptiness,” when manifested as a kind of emotional numbness and spiritual apathy, is exactly what this “sin” is. BUT, when you viewed it as an opportunity to let in new things and to be open to rediscovering self and being open to “exciting things,” you turned it around. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sloth_(deadly_sin)
The world is making this particular “sin” hard to resist, some days. It’s good to stay optimistic and beat it – whether you see it in a religious sense or just an aspect of mental health. It’s helpful, I think, to read reminders that others are struggling, too, and to share how it can be defeated.
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“Kindness shown to yourself when you’re at your lowest point matters the most, doesn’t it?” Yes it does. And its also the most difficult. Sometimes we need to remind ourselves we are worth it. This is a beautiful piece on grace shown to yourself.
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True Vinitha. I woke up feeling a little low today and then I read this piece and somehow your optimism lifted me. Somedays it’s an effort to look for that ray of sunshine but once one makes that effort life’s better. Thank you for brightening my day.
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‘it means making space for all things new and exciting. Or it could be a nudge to rediscover myself, or simply relax and relish the moment’ – This is a positive way to make sense of the emptiness felt within. Have a cup of tea/coffee while chatting with your emptiness. Better make 2 cups – one for you and the other one for that companion for the day.
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