I was scared
to glance in her direction,
like I have always been scared
to plan my future,
because somewhere
not too deep within me,
I fear
I’m not doing enough.
She didn’t look terrified,
unlike me.
She exuded confidence and warmth,
her smile relaxed me.
She seemed comfortable in herself,
unlike me.
She looked at me,
in the eyes —
a knowing, gentle smile
closing the distance between us.
She is not cross with me,
I realized.
A sigh of relief escaped me.
I steadied myself,
and smiled at her,
and spoke —
barely a whisper leaving my lips,
“I’m sorry for not doing enough.
I tried… you know I tried my best.
Sorry for all the missed opportunities,
for all the regrets
I left you with.
I should have done better — ”
I paused,
a tear slipping from my eyes.
She smiled,
brighter,
her voice far from accusatory —
“You did well, you just don’t know it yet.
You are doing well. Your best — I know that.
I am here because of you,
because you didn’t give up,
because you showed up
even when you felt you were not enough,
even when you thought your best was not enough.
Through all those doubts,
you still chose to believe —
in yourself,
in me.
I am here because of you.
Thank you for taking care of me.”
Her words swept through me
filling me with a new life —
fresh hope and old dreams
sparkled.
I whispered, “Thank you”.
And for the first time,
I am ready to believe
that I am her.
This piece is written in response to the Poetry Circle prompt “Write a letter in the form of a poem — to your past self, future self, or someone you never sent a letter to.” Thank you, Sunita Saldhana.
Beyond Scribbles 
Very powerful poem; it left me in tears. It has an emotional crescendo, a real roller coaster. Simply beautiful!
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What a beautiful poem, Vini. For so many years, I thought I wasn’t enough, but somehow, I realized that it was just a thought and not necessarily true. Still, sometimes I wonder if I missed an opportunity, could have done more, tried harder; but I’m also learning to be at peace with what I am doing and dial down the volume of my inner judgmental self.
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‘I’m not doing enough’ was a thought in the background of my mind many years.
But somehow I escaped of this idea, when I realized that it was only a thought and
not a reality.
It is a powerful text and I hope it was useful.
Have a fantastic week ahead, dear Vinitha!❤️😘
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So so glad you met her and had a good chat with each other. You know your future self is in a great place, so you can safely believe you are enough now and you are doing enough now. Please throw your judgements out of a moving train so that they get left behind while you keep proceeding ahead.
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“Sorry for all the missed opportunities…” this thought reminded me of my regrets and the lines that followed filled me with solace – “you still chose to …believe… in me…”
Started my day with reading your beautiful poem, Vinitha!
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